29 December, 2009

Introspective

I'm not psychic by any means, so I'm not going to try and guess what 2010 holds for me. I'm also not one to make resolutions. They are simply another set of pressures to add to my already hectic life. I will, however be setting myself a few goals for the coming year. These goals should all be attainable if I keep my mind on it.

So, I present to you my list of goals for 2010.

Find my personal style

Shopping is a little tricky for myself at the moment. There's a part of me that wants to be achingly hip (and another part of my brain that yells "MUTTON!" every time that I pick up something in said hip stores). There's a part of me that wants to dress with class and old-world glamour. There's a part of me that wants to wear shorts and a singlet (thankfully this part of me is mostly quashed and is only allowed out at home).

None of this is really an issue... but for the net result that buying clothes is a total PITA and I chicken out of buying things that really appeal to me because I'm scared that I won't end up wearing them.

So 2010 - time to build a style and build a wardrobe around it. This will have a secondary knock-on effect of me getting to know myself more.

Be creative

2009 was a year where I realised a lot of my creative outlets were pushed aside. I'm going to make an effort to actually be creative. I have a few mini goals within this one:

Knit one lacy item
Knit one total garment - jumper, vest or similar
Knit one sock per month (six pairs for the year)
Relearn at least one song on guitar
Use some of the canvasses I have lying around and paint a small picture
Sew a garment
Start taking photos and using my flickr account again

None of the things on the list is really huge, nor is the number of things I've set for myself too big. I don't want to overwhelm myself with pressure to get it done, so I've kept it small. If I exceed the list - great. But I want to be sure I can reach these goals.

Maintain a healthy lifestyle

This might sound drastic, but it's really just keeping myself on track and not letting myself get lazy, along with keeping an eye on my food. I've done it before, I know it's attainable and I just need to keep at it. Nothing but a progress goal here!

Work on me

This is a pretty simple one. Taking time for me, doing things I enjoy and not feeling guilty. Finding myself a new place to live. Doing things that will make me happy. Learning to say no when I have to and not feeling guilty. The problem is not so much doing things I love or taking time out. The big problem I've had is feeling guilty when I do. Time to get rid of that.

It's not a huge list, but I think I have a lot to keep me busy next year.

Happy New Year to all... what are your plans for 2010?

28 December, 2009

Retrospective

It's certainly the fashion to post about the year in review at the moment, what with it nearly being over and the world poised to leap into the new decade.

I could certainly go into many details about the year past that would keep this blog post going until the world ends because the Mayan calendar runs out or something, but many of those things are intensely private and not items that I wish to put out there.

Suffice to say that this year was not the best for me. It's been a long, hard journey and has certainly had some very low and rocky moments. (Oh no. I'm starting to sound like a bad 80s power ballad. I promise this bit won't last long.) Things are getting better and I'm starting to make some very necessary changes to my life and to myself. To my support network, thank you for everything. For just being there, for the random messages, for the tea, sympathy, coffee, knitting, DVDs, laughs, and above all your company. Thank you.

I've learned a lot about myself and changed a lot in the past 12 months. Whether any of the lessons are useful remains to be seen. My taste and style have changed too, and I'm picking up things that I had set aside for so long. Hello video games, music, art and generally creative pursuits again. It's been a slow uptake as I learn to let myself have this time for these activities again.

I seesawed a little in terms of my fitness regime and weight. At the moment I am happy with where I am. I am back into running. I am doing two boxing classes a week. I've acquired the Wii Fit Plus software and balance board for core strength and rainy day exercises. I'm well placed to kick start the new year and keep working on my fitness.

Knitting-wise I reached an important milestone this year. I finished my first cardigan. A whole garment - done. Admittedly it took a lot longer than it really should have, as there were long periods this year where I wasn't really knitting much. But it is done, and I am so happy to have completed it. The style is no longer what I would consider in a cardigan. It's loose with little shaping, but even if I only choose to wear it around the house, it's mine and I made it myself. It's also warm and a little luxurious - a merino, mohair and cashmere blend with a mohair trim. I particularly love the buttons.

It's a cardigan!

Cardigan - button and trim

Not many other knitting projects surfaced this year. In general I neglected it. That's something to fix.

I'm sure there is so much more to write about, but at this very moment it's escaping me. Not to worry - rather than focussing too much on the past I need to look to the future. Which is what my next post will be about.